The Hidden Fire

     One of my family's summer traditions is to go out on Sundays to have a picnic dinner at a nearby park. Normally we drive to whatever park we decide to visit, however, this past Sunday, the park we wanted to go to was close enough that my parents decided that we would walk there instead.      When I learned of this decision, I was filled with a sense of irrational fear and panic. I was caught off-guard.  Why did this simple change of plans have such a dramatic effect on me?  As I have thought about it more, I have come to believe the roots of this incident have a lot to do with the habits of my thinking that God is trying to address during this season of life.      I am, by nature, a very routine-oriented person. I like to have events happen in a certain way, at a certain time. When this doesn't happen, my safety feels threatened, and this feeling manifests itself in fear and anger. I feel the need to control my circumstances and surroundings in order to feel secure  

     I don't like change.  I prefer a predictable routine, where I have a few simple comforts I can count on.  I don't enjoy uncertainty.  Unfortunately, right now I'm going through a period of monumental changes.  I'm entering adulthood, preparing to get a job and go to college.  The unknown future often seems overwhelming.      However, God is helping me to prepare for these adjustments.  He has revealed several ideas to me that have helped me gain some peace about my future.      1. Even if my situation changes, God will not change .  There will always be someone to comfort and guide me, a solid place to set my feet.      2.  With God, every situation I face will be bearable .  Even if the changes I face will bring horrible results, I can find joy as long as God is with me.  A bad situation lived with  God is infinitely better than a good situation lived without  him.      3. God will bring new good into my life through the change .  Even though givin

     For some months now, I've made it a habit to go down to the Spokane River on a daily basis (we live nearby).  I find it to be invaluable to spend this time in beauty and silence (barring the occasional cussing homeless person walking past while blasting Dokken's Dream Warrior ), and God has used the time to help me grow in many ways.      A few days ago, I was sitting on a rock, enjoying the beautiful weather.  Out of the blue, I heard God speak these words:  "You don't need to defend yourself"        This message surprised me a bit at the time, but as I thought about it through the past few days, I have noticed that my gut reaction to many situations is  to defend myself.  When I sin, I want to justify my actions by saying I was tired, or that I was caught off guard by temptation.  I fear criticism (even imaginary criticisms that will probably never occur!) and try to think of explanations for my actions.  I feel self-conscious about some of the things I

A few weeks ago, my father, a friend and I went to see the movie Dunkirk in the theater. As the movie ended and the credits started to roll, I could feel tears in my eyes and a lump in my throat. Walking back to the car, I puzzled over why the movie had affected me so much. Many of characters in the movie had displayed bravery and heroism, but that was nothing new. I had seen heroism before in other movies and books. Why had I reacted so strongly this time? Somehow, the movie had hit my heart in an unexpected area, an area that was vulnerable to the sacrifice I had seen in the movie             I realized that, when you look beneath the surface, most of the best stories have a common message: that goodness and beauty are worth sacrifice. In The Lord of the Rings , Frodo makes great sacrifices to save those things that are good in Middle-Earth. To protect the Shire and the rest of Middle-earth, he takes on the burden of the Ring, risking his life to destroy it. But, what is more, he

     Last week I wrote about the importance of work and routine in our relationship with God (you can read the piece here ).  Soon after I posted the article, a friend posed an interesting question to me.  What happens when we get interrupted? What happens when our normal routines get thrown out the window?          This is a fallen world, after all.  The divine pattern of work and routine should still be striven for, but we have to realize that we will not be able to perfectly achieve it in this life.  Our work will never wholly satisfy us.  Our plans, however carefully laid, will eventually go awry.      Fortunately, there is good news.  In becoming incarnate and dying on the cross for humanity's sins, Christ opened up the Kingdom of God to us.  This means that we don't need to trust in our own strength in order to cultivate our life with God.  There is grace for us.  Even when everything we planned goes wrong, we can trust God to meet us where we are.      I've alw

     Lately, I've struggled with restlessness and boredom.  My mom and sisters are visiting family, and, with my dad at work, I spend most of my day alone at home.  I've been searching for employment for weeks now, and spending this time alone has given me new insight into why I need to find work. Partly, I just need to earn money.  But more importantly, I need  to work.  I need to create value.  Work is essential to my well-being and life with God.  When I feel bored, I am much more prone to sin, and I find it harder to walk with God.  In contrast, when I have something productive to do, whether it is writing, playing guitar, or doing housework, I connect with God more naturally.    Another related aspect of my day that I've been reflecting on is that of routine.  Having a set routine gives me peace and provides a stable framework for my relationship with God.  Without a routine, I find that it is easier to succumb to sinful desires, because having an irregular schedule l